There's No Place Like Home
Amy Dawson / Student Ministries Assistant
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| Photo by Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash |
I have a confession to make. I've known about writing this blog for a few weeks, and now it is four days late. I haven't felt compelled to write about anything in particular. I tried writing about something that was serious, faith-filled, and well ... a topic that would be more expected for a spot on this blog.
Then after dinner tonight, as has been the pattern for the past week, right around the time I lifted my last bite of food from my plate, the noise level in the house increased in volume. That's usually when I decide that it's time for me to go for a walk, to give the many adolescents and little people some distance from me so that we can end the day on a positive note rather than in a way that I would regret as I crawl into bed. I'm typically a chill person; I tend to go with the flow and maintain a calm demeanor. But lately, I'm noticing a greater need for space. I think it's due to seven people being together for weeks with the end not yet known.
As I was walking, thinking about what I had already written that didn't grab me, I thought, why not write about the real stuff? We are in the midst of a quarantine. To date we are in week nine of not sending children to school. This is due to a worldwide pandemic from the coronavirus. Nothing seems to be normal these days.
This is what today, Tuesday, May 12, held for me. The morning was quite normal for this new way of living:
Then after dinner tonight, as has been the pattern for the past week, right around the time I lifted my last bite of food from my plate, the noise level in the house increased in volume. That's usually when I decide that it's time for me to go for a walk, to give the many adolescents and little people some distance from me so that we can end the day on a positive note rather than in a way that I would regret as I crawl into bed. I'm typically a chill person; I tend to go with the flow and maintain a calm demeanor. But lately, I'm noticing a greater need for space. I think it's due to seven people being together for weeks with the end not yet known.
As I was walking, thinking about what I had already written that didn't grab me, I thought, why not write about the real stuff? We are in the midst of a quarantine. To date we are in week nine of not sending children to school. This is due to a worldwide pandemic from the coronavirus. Nothing seems to be normal these days.
This is what today, Tuesday, May 12, held for me. The morning was quite normal for this new way of living:
Breakfast with the family, I made a smoothie for those who wanted one.
The older children worked on the chrome books from school for a few hours.
The 4th grader had a Google Meet with his class for an hour.
The 2nd grader had some help from her dad for her schoolwork requirements for the day.
I took two children with me to work for an hour, gathered lunch from the school, and answered a phone call about rescheduling a doctor's appointment which ended with the woman on the other end of the phone saying, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience of rescheduling." I responded, "I've had quite a few inconveniences lately, what's one more?"
I took two children with me to work for an hour, gathered lunch from the school, and answered a phone call about rescheduling a doctor's appointment which ended with the woman on the other end of the phone saying, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience of rescheduling." I responded, "I've had quite a few inconveniences lately, what's one more?"
Next I attended a work meeting, and afterwards sat at my desk and cried.
Every now and then I discover something new to grieve in this pandemic and today was one of those days. A different aspect of life felt hard today, felt broken, and held my attention in a new way. The brokenness of the world, the brokenness of systems, the challenging navigation through it all wasn't looking hopeful today.
Every now and then I discover something new to grieve in this pandemic and today was one of those days. A different aspect of life felt hard today, felt broken, and held my attention in a new way. The brokenness of the world, the brokenness of systems, the challenging navigation through it all wasn't looking hopeful today.
What I really wanted today was home. No, not my home, but the feeling of home. I wanted life to welcome me with sunshine and softness, a place to feel comfortable and to be at peace. Today did not have that feeling. I drove home in rain which soon gave way to snow (mind-boggling that it would snow in May!). Dinner was whatever I had in the freezer, nothing well-planned or especially delicious.
My conclusion for the day is that what my soul longs for is heaven, and the wholeness that only Jesus delivers. The truth is wholeness is what Jesus provides for me. The Kingdom of God is very available to me at a moment's notice. So, I write this now with all my people in bed, the house is quiet, and my soul is stilled with the truth that Jesus is ever near. He never leaves me, I need only to become aware of His presence and choose to rest therein.
My conclusion for the day is that what my soul longs for is heaven, and the wholeness that only Jesus delivers. The truth is wholeness is what Jesus provides for me. The Kingdom of God is very available to me at a moment's notice. So, I write this now with all my people in bed, the house is quiet, and my soul is stilled with the truth that Jesus is ever near. He never leaves me, I need only to become aware of His presence and choose to rest therein.