Take You at Your Word
Andi Merrill / Pastor of Worship Arts
At the end of this past January, I had an opportunity to speak to the student body and staff of Houghton University during one of their chapel services. This is something I’d never done before, but as soon as I started asking God what to preach on, my journey with anxiety was the clear direction I was given. I walked through a really trying time dealing with anxiety and depression two years ago, but by God’s goodness I’ve come to a place of knowing how to handle it when it strikes. I know anxiety is a very real thing, not just for me, but for so many people, so this seemed like a good topic for a bunch of college students who are the hardest hit demographic on earth when it comes to anxiety and depression.
As with most things, when you dig in to figure out how to teach about something, you inevitably end up becoming the student! As I worked through Scripture passages and podcasts and other readings regarding anxiety and Christianity, God started to show me what was behind my own battle: I had let my emotions and my circumstances become more true and more real to me than Scripture. Now hear me on this: if you’re struggling with anxiety or depression, the last thing you need is for a pastor to tell you that this is merely a spiritual battle, or that you just need to trust God more, or you need to memorize more Scripture. Trust me, I’d tried doing all of that! I was in the Word, in ReGen, meeting with a Christian counselor and pouring my heart out to God through prayer and journaling. It took a long time before any of that seemed to help. But as I started my preaching research, I realized one thing I hadn’t done ...
There’s a worship song by Cody Carnes out there right now with these lyrics in the chorus: “I’ll take You at Your Word. If You said it, I’ll believe it. I’ve seen how good it works. If You start it, You’ll complete it.” I would say that I know Scripture pretty well. I’m in the Word just about every day; I grew up doing sword drills; I’ve read the Book from cover-to-cover multiple times, and I often quote it from the stage. I believe Scripture to be true ... for other people. This is where things went south for me. I believe that God’s Word is real and can transform lives. I believe the promises of God that are throughout the Bible are true and that God is faithful to follow through, but somewhere along the way I stopped believing that any of this was true for ME. I can’t tell you when it happened or why, except that maybe life became more challenging than I had anticipated, and maybe some dreams felt lost in the chaos. Somewhere, somehow, I stopped believing that God’s promises weren’t just for the people I get to minister to, but they’re for me too.
God challenged me as I prepared for the Houghton talk. During times of intense anxiety, my emotions felt more real than the Word. My experience and circumstances screamed louder than the Truth, but any time that emotions or experience do not line up with Scripture, I have a choice to make: do I believe the emotions and experience, or do I believe the Bible? Don’t get me wrong here – emotions aren’t the enemy, and experience is very real. BUT when they do not align with what the Bible says, then the Bible needs to win in my heart and mind. I either believe Scripture – all of it – or I don’t. When the emotions come that would make me think that God isn’t with me, I remind myself what Scripture says and then make the choice to believe that (Deuteronomy 31:6). When my experience says that I do not have what I need to do something, I choose to believe Philippians 4:19. I’m trying hard to take God at His Word!
Currently my plate is fuller than it’s been in years, and yet I’m fully functioning without debilitating anxiety, or any medications to help me manage it. God does heal, and the power that comes from really, honestly choosing to believe Him over what we feel or experience is incredibly powerful. I pray that you and I both choose to take Him at His Word this week and discover the kind of peace that it brings!