Sitting In the In‑Between

Lee Babirad / Creative Director and Storyteller

There is a kind of sickness that doesn’t just hit your body. It hits your thoughts, your prayers, your sense of direction. When I was in the hospital for those forty days, I found myself in a place I had never been before. Not life as usual, not heaven. Just … the in‑between.

People talk about praying bold prayers. Praying with confidence. Praying with faith. But there were moments when I honestly didn’t know what to pray. Do I ask Jesus to heal me here? Or take me home? It felt like both options lived in the same breath. And I didn’t have the strength to choose either.

So, I didn’t say much at all. No long requests. No polished prayers. Just quiet.

And yet, in that quiet, I wasn’t alone. I didn’t hear a voice or see a vision, but I knew … Jesus was sitting right there in the middle with me. Not rushing me toward life. Not rushing me toward heaven. Just holding me steady in the void between fear and hope.

There is a verse that carried me then and carries me still. Romans 8:26 says, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” That was exactly it. I didn’t have the words, so the Spirit prayed the prayers I couldn’t speak.

If you ever find yourself in that same in‑between, unsure of what to pray or which direction to hope for, you’re not faithless. You’re human. And the good news is that Jesus meets humans exactly where they are. He waits patiently, walking with you even when you can’t see the path ahead.

I’m still processing these last few months and day by day Jesus continues to meet me where I’m at and reveals His love for me. One breath at a time.