Feeling Joby
Victoria Conn / Next Gen Ministry Assistant
Joby: noun, the feeling or expression of a good person who was suddenly beset with horrendous misfortunes that take away what they hold dear. Struggling to understand the situation but ultimately remaining devoted to God.
“But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.” Job 30:15-16
Do you ever feel a little like Job?
Throughout my life I’ve had many health challenges, but always spaced out enough to appropriately recover from them until this past year. The last year has been a revolving door of mystery illnesses followed by no answers. I stay strong around the doctors and my family but when I find myself alone, I can’t help but cry out, “I need you”, “Please heal me”, ”Why is this happening to me?”, “Where are you?”
When people asked me how I feel I say, “I feel a little Joby.”
“As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice, the Almighty, who has made my life bitter.” Job 27:2
God then reminded me: “Who are you to decide what God’s justice looks like here on earth?” “Do you not think I will use this pain and suffering to build your character and teach you valuable lessons?”
I am not God, I do not have the entire picture of life, or how the world works, and justice is not black and white.
Here’s what I do know: God knows and orchestrates every detail of our existence. He knows every hair on our head, every function of our bodies. We live in a beautifully complex world and sometimes we live through hard things.
I encourage everyone to pause in their potential pity party and praise God for testimonies to come from their “Joby” moments. I’ve gotten into the habit of ending each day by listing three places I saw God move that day, instead of dwelling on the sad and suffering.
I love the song “Way Maker” by Leeland for these lyrics: “Even when I don't see it, you’re working, Even when I don't feel it, you’re working, you never stop, you never stop working.” God is always there, and always with us. It’s up to us to choose to see and accept the blessing of each day.