Times of Suffering
Bobby Krahling / Spiritual Formation Volunteer
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| Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash |
What has Jesus been doing in my life lately? I would have to say when my wife and I came down with COVID back in November, although Jesus has been doing things every day of my life, that was a very tough scenario for our family. Especially with my wife being newly pregnant.
It started with just some sniffles and what I thought was going to be my once-a-year common cold. Gradually it just got worse and then I lost my senses of taste and smell, which has never happened to me. I knew I should get tested. It was only by God’s grace that not one person at church ever got sick and I was able to recover at home.
I thought working from home was difficult, but God used it to grow our family so much closer. This, however, was a bit different. I do not do well with being sick, in pain and completely powerless. I have dealt with a lot of chronic physical pain in life that has been cured by physical exercise, but this was totally different. The doctors could not do anything for me, and I was told to just stay at home unless my symptoms could not be managed. I think the worst part was not being able to enjoy comfort food! Nothing I did took the edge off except for Alka Seltzer Cold and Flu every four hours. The fever would not leave me, and the cough and breathing were bad. In total, I was sick for three weeks and stayed inside for 14 days. I think it’s easy to say that I went a little stir crazy.
Here was my struggle … the Army’s saying was always “Drink water and drive on”, but I had to sit still and listen to my body. I have struggled so much in the past with resting. It was either rest all the time or go 100 miles an hour all the time. I think God was trying to teach me balance and, more importantly, the holy discipline of rest. I literally was helpless, and I was stuck in my own head. I felt terrible because I did not open the Word once and only did devotionals maybe a handful of times. My loving wife was blunt with me and said, “Honey I know you couldn’t possibly acknowledge my needs right now because you are so self-absorbed.” She was right! I know God uses everything for good and He never wastes a hurt, so towards the end of my quarantine I realized just how many precious moments I was able to have with our 4-year-old Sophia. I was able to read a bunch of books to her and have a ton of dance parties! I also realized that my wife being pregnant meant that we would only have a limited number of special moments with our three-person household that will soon become four.
Fast forward two months later and it was a blessing in disguise. At least we all have antibodies now and I am thanking God that my wife did not come down with a fever because that can be deadly to the baby in her womb in the first trimester. Another blessing was that Sophia did not display one symptom and was completely healthy during our time of sickness. Sometimes my hard-headedness can attempt to supersede God and then I’m left to my own devices, which never blesses anyone!
I think we all need to make sure we plan at least one day of rest where we can fill up on our families and invest in the things that matter most, things that show our good fruit as believers. I’m thankful and extremely blessed for every time of suffering I have had in life because its shows how much I need to rely on God instead of self-sufficiency, which is a complete lie! Thank you to my church family at Eastern Hills for all your care, concern, godly support and love that has always been unconditional. Most of all, thank you to my loving wife for putting up with me and sticking by me no matter what!
It started with just some sniffles and what I thought was going to be my once-a-year common cold. Gradually it just got worse and then I lost my senses of taste and smell, which has never happened to me. I knew I should get tested. It was only by God’s grace that not one person at church ever got sick and I was able to recover at home.
I thought working from home was difficult, but God used it to grow our family so much closer. This, however, was a bit different. I do not do well with being sick, in pain and completely powerless. I have dealt with a lot of chronic physical pain in life that has been cured by physical exercise, but this was totally different. The doctors could not do anything for me, and I was told to just stay at home unless my symptoms could not be managed. I think the worst part was not being able to enjoy comfort food! Nothing I did took the edge off except for Alka Seltzer Cold and Flu every four hours. The fever would not leave me, and the cough and breathing were bad. In total, I was sick for three weeks and stayed inside for 14 days. I think it’s easy to say that I went a little stir crazy.
Here was my struggle … the Army’s saying was always “Drink water and drive on”, but I had to sit still and listen to my body. I have struggled so much in the past with resting. It was either rest all the time or go 100 miles an hour all the time. I think God was trying to teach me balance and, more importantly, the holy discipline of rest. I literally was helpless, and I was stuck in my own head. I felt terrible because I did not open the Word once and only did devotionals maybe a handful of times. My loving wife was blunt with me and said, “Honey I know you couldn’t possibly acknowledge my needs right now because you are so self-absorbed.” She was right! I know God uses everything for good and He never wastes a hurt, so towards the end of my quarantine I realized just how many precious moments I was able to have with our 4-year-old Sophia. I was able to read a bunch of books to her and have a ton of dance parties! I also realized that my wife being pregnant meant that we would only have a limited number of special moments with our three-person household that will soon become four.
Fast forward two months later and it was a blessing in disguise. At least we all have antibodies now and I am thanking God that my wife did not come down with a fever because that can be deadly to the baby in her womb in the first trimester. Another blessing was that Sophia did not display one symptom and was completely healthy during our time of sickness. Sometimes my hard-headedness can attempt to supersede God and then I’m left to my own devices, which never blesses anyone!
I think we all need to make sure we plan at least one day of rest where we can fill up on our families and invest in the things that matter most, things that show our good fruit as believers. I’m thankful and extremely blessed for every time of suffering I have had in life because its shows how much I need to rely on God instead of self-sufficiency, which is a complete lie! Thank you to my church family at Eastern Hills for all your care, concern, godly support and love that has always been unconditional. Most of all, thank you to my loving wife for putting up with me and sticking by me no matter what!