God’s Mercy is the Struggle You’re Facing
Kim Howell / Worship Arts, Finance, Next Gen Assistant
I sat and talked with the doctor giving her my history, and for the first time, I was fully honest with someone about my struggles. When we were done, she looked up and said, “Thank God you chose food instead of drugs or alcohol.” I froze. I had spoken those very same words in thanks to God a few times over the years, but I was always angry with Him for allowing this struggle in my life. I was only grateful my struggle was with food in the moments when I saw tragic things happening in my family members who overused drugs and alcohol. I wasn’t actually grateful I had the problem. I was grateful I wasn’t the one dead or dying. I was grateful I wasn’t the one in jail. I wasn’t grateful to have an eating disorder.
As I left my appointment that day, God opened my eyes on the drive home. He showed me the gift of this struggle. The doctor was right. Thank God He had allowed a food issue into my life instead of something else. I used to eat to the point of being sick and unable to move. If that had been drugs or alcohol who knows what might have happened. God didn’t allow that. Instead, in His mercy, He allowed a problem with food, that although it’s one of the biggest struggles in my life, it is also one of the greatest gifts pointing me to Him.
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| Photo by Jonny Caspari on Unsplash |
I have struggled with my weight, constant overeating and binge eating since I was a teenager. I have hated who I am and how I look for years. I have struggled with self-confidence and self-esteem and never believed I was worth anything. I recently made the decision to seek assistance with this as my weight and eating habits are causing my health and quality of life to deteriorate.
I sat and talked with the doctor giving her my history, and for the first time, I was fully honest with someone about my struggles. When we were done, she looked up and said, “Thank God you chose food instead of drugs or alcohol.” I froze. I had spoken those very same words in thanks to God a few times over the years, but I was always angry with Him for allowing this struggle in my life. I was only grateful my struggle was with food in the moments when I saw tragic things happening in my family members who overused drugs and alcohol. I wasn’t actually grateful I had the problem. I was grateful I wasn’t the one dead or dying. I was grateful I wasn’t the one in jail. I wasn’t grateful to have an eating disorder.
As I left my appointment that day, God opened my eyes on the drive home. He showed me the gift of this struggle. The doctor was right. Thank God He had allowed a food issue into my life instead of something else. I used to eat to the point of being sick and unable to move. If that had been drugs or alcohol who knows what might have happened. God didn’t allow that. Instead, in His mercy, He allowed a problem with food, that although it’s one of the biggest struggles in my life, it is also one of the greatest gifts pointing me to Him.