Desert Times
Erik Bergum / Tech Assistant
I never thought that I would long for being “just” exhausted. To me that would seem like a vacation. Do you ever feel that way? The endless lists, the pull from every direction, the unrelenting weight of life, the necessity of providing for a family, the longing to be a better Dad, a better husband, and a better man of God. In the midst of all of that, life seems to be covered over by a gray cloud, or maybe a more apt description would be to say a “sandy” colored cloud. I love the beach; the warmth of those innumerable grains of sand under my feet, the gentle wind on my face, the sweet smell of the sea, the rhythmic sounds of the crashing waves. I would love to be there, unfortunately I am not there, I am in a desert.
I never thought that I would long for being “just” exhausted. To me that would seem like a vacation. Do you ever feel that way? The endless lists, the pull from every direction, the unrelenting weight of life, the necessity of providing for a family, the longing to be a better Dad, a better husband, and a better man of God. In the midst of all of that, life seems to be covered over by a gray cloud, or maybe a more apt description would be to say a “sandy” colored cloud. I love the beach; the warmth of those innumerable grains of sand under my feet, the gentle wind on my face, the sweet smell of the sea, the rhythmic sounds of the crashing waves. I would love to be there, unfortunately I am not there, I am in a desert.
I hate the desert. The sand has a different feel here: it is harsh and has gotten everywhere it shouldn’t be, causing blisters on my feet and every other uncomfortable place, the hot wind has dried my skin, my mouth is dry and pasty and my lips are cracking, there is no sweet smell, only an over-baked dusty aroma, the only sound I hear is the deafening sounds of cicadas in my mind. A buzzing that never goes away. The buzzing of life spinning at break-neck speed… or maybe that's the coffee... probably both. Wait, isn’t Jesus supposed to be in here somewhere? Isn’t He supposed to make you feel you can climb the mountain of impossibility? Isn’t He supposed to fill your heart with a happiness for all situations? Isn’t this life supposed to be easier because of Jesus? I don’t feel Him? Did I make a wrong turn somewhere? Wait, where am I… where is Jesus… and how did I end up in a desert?
Have you ever been to the desert? It’s generally not one of the top-ten places you would chose to put on your bucket list to visit before you die, yet we tend to end up there at one point in our life or another. It may seem like God has forgotten us; quite the contrary, God uses desert times for our benefit, for our growth if we allow Him to. Like the Israelites before us, we grumble and complain about “How God has forgotten us” and life was better back before "Jesus." We clearly can’t see His faithful provision in front of us and God’s ever-present hand in our lives. We often don’t realize God’s unfailing provision in our lives until we look back or are out of the desert experience.
Let’s take a look at the Israelites: they are clearly no strangers to the desert experience. They wandered (they thought they had plenty to grumble about) for forty years just out of reach of the Promised Land. Yet, when they decided to look back they could see God’s sovereign hand, with them the entire time. They didn’t always feel His presence as they wandered through the wilderness or “desert.” In hindsight His provision was clear. At the time, did they realize they were wandering? Hindsight showed that God was leading them. Every single step. Did they think they were being forgotten because they had only enough food for one day? Hindsight proved that God’s riches were unsurpassed in clearly providing for them. Every single day. Were they thrilled about wearing the same clothes every day, year after year? Looking back, they could see that in-fact, their clothes never wore out, God kept their clothes new. Every single day. (I wonder if they even had to wash them.) Did they resent the long, never ending, aimlessly circling, and exhausting walk through “...the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions.” Only looking back could they see that their feet never blistered, never swelled, and their shoes never wore out.
God was faithful even in the midst of their unfaithfulness and relentless grumbling. I wonder if God was teaching them to the capacity of their faith? They could barely go a day without whining. So, His miracles were made new every day. He provided for them DAILY. I wonder how many daily miracles we overlook? God kept them moving forward with baby-steps. Sadly, their disobedience kept those baby-steps continuing in circles for forty years. He gave them new opportunities to see every single day, new opportunities to see His sovereignty, His provision, His blessings, His love, His mighty hand. He gave them new opportunities to obey His commands, although I have a feeling He kept them on a very short leash (one day at a time) not because He thought they were incapable (He knew they were), but because He wanted them to succeed one step at a time and in the end He knew their destination. It just took forty years of baby-steps to get there. He was there, walking with them, and likely carrying them at times THE ENTIRE WAY. Talk about patience. He loved them so much and He knew the destination was worth it for them, THEY were worth it. He wanted the BEST for them, but they weren’t ready for it in year “1” or “2” or even "year 39.” He wasn’t going to force them, just like you can’t force open a flower. Jesus is a gentleman, and He is patient, and when we fall down He is right there next to us and helping us get back up (if we ask Him) and we learn to follow Him with simple acts of daily obedience.
I don’t know the end of my story, but I do know my God, and HE IS FAITHFUL. I have looked back and can see His mighty hand at work (yet how quickly I forget). I surely haven’t arrived and I’m not even close, but I am slowly learning to follow Him in the simple acts of daily obedience. The joy comes when I walk with Him and follow where He leads me. The funny thing is, even though I may still be in a harsh desert, the sand starts to feel a little bit more like a beach when I have the company of Jesus at my side.
Have you ever been to the desert? It’s generally not one of the top-ten places you would chose to put on your bucket list to visit before you die, yet we tend to end up there at one point in our life or another. It may seem like God has forgotten us; quite the contrary, God uses desert times for our benefit, for our growth if we allow Him to. Like the Israelites before us, we grumble and complain about “How God has forgotten us” and life was better back before "Jesus." We clearly can’t see His faithful provision in front of us and God’s ever-present hand in our lives. We often don’t realize God’s unfailing provision in our lives until we look back or are out of the desert experience.
Let’s take a look at the Israelites: they are clearly no strangers to the desert experience. They wandered (they thought they had plenty to grumble about) for forty years just out of reach of the Promised Land. Yet, when they decided to look back they could see God’s sovereign hand, with them the entire time. They didn’t always feel His presence as they wandered through the wilderness or “desert.” In hindsight His provision was clear. At the time, did they realize they were wandering? Hindsight showed that God was leading them. Every single step. Did they think they were being forgotten because they had only enough food for one day? Hindsight proved that God’s riches were unsurpassed in clearly providing for them. Every single day. Were they thrilled about wearing the same clothes every day, year after year? Looking back, they could see that in-fact, their clothes never wore out, God kept their clothes new. Every single day. (I wonder if they even had to wash them.) Did they resent the long, never ending, aimlessly circling, and exhausting walk through “...the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions.” Only looking back could they see that their feet never blistered, never swelled, and their shoes never wore out.
God was faithful even in the midst of their unfaithfulness and relentless grumbling. I wonder if God was teaching them to the capacity of their faith? They could barely go a day without whining. So, His miracles were made new every day. He provided for them DAILY. I wonder how many daily miracles we overlook? God kept them moving forward with baby-steps. Sadly, their disobedience kept those baby-steps continuing in circles for forty years. He gave them new opportunities to see every single day, new opportunities to see His sovereignty, His provision, His blessings, His love, His mighty hand. He gave them new opportunities to obey His commands, although I have a feeling He kept them on a very short leash (one day at a time) not because He thought they were incapable (He knew they were), but because He wanted them to succeed one step at a time and in the end He knew their destination. It just took forty years of baby-steps to get there. He was there, walking with them, and likely carrying them at times THE ENTIRE WAY. Talk about patience. He loved them so much and He knew the destination was worth it for them, THEY were worth it. He wanted the BEST for them, but they weren’t ready for it in year “1” or “2” or even "year 39.” He wasn’t going to force them, just like you can’t force open a flower. Jesus is a gentleman, and He is patient, and when we fall down He is right there next to us and helping us get back up (if we ask Him) and we learn to follow Him with simple acts of daily obedience.
I don’t know the end of my story, but I do know my God, and HE IS FAITHFUL. I have looked back and can see His mighty hand at work (yet how quickly I forget). I surely haven’t arrived and I’m not even close, but I am slowly learning to follow Him in the simple acts of daily obedience. The joy comes when I walk with Him and follow where He leads me. The funny thing is, even though I may still be in a harsh desert, the sand starts to feel a little bit more like a beach when I have the company of Jesus at my side.