Marks of a Christian Gentleman
Mike Dwyer / Executive Pastor of Operations and Care
This month I was able to share with the men of the church at the Watchmen’s Breakfast the question: “What are the Marks of a Christian Gentleman?” You see, it appears to me that during this stressful time of COVID-19 I have observed a growing shortness in what I will call civility, if not common decency. I am not simply referring to manners although that is a part of it. People are just not treating each other right.
This month I was able to share with the men of the church at the Watchmen’s Breakfast the question: “What are the Marks of a Christian Gentleman?” You see, it appears to me that during this stressful time of COVID-19 I have observed a growing shortness in what I will call civility, if not common decency. I am not simply referring to manners although that is a part of it. People are just not treating each other right.
It occurred to me that those who call themselves followers of Christ are called to something higher. I received some wonderful insights from wives that really helped to shape our discussion. In the Bible, Jesus refers to himself as “gentle and humble in heart” (Matthew 11:29). I believe that these qualities are essential in order to be called a gentleman.
A gentleman then is someone who always considers others more important than himself (Philippians 2:3). In all things he attempts to make others feel like they, rather than he, are the center of interest. A gentlemen is an expert in respecting others. When it comes to their wives, they have the ability to make them feel cherished. He is not a gentleman because he is smooth and refined but because he is other-oriented, a master at active listening and an advocate for truth and peace.
George Bernard Shaw, the Irish playwright, said that a gentleman is someone who gives more to the world than he takes out. In the Bible we are given a number of ways to be a gentleman. In 1 Timothy 2:2, we are exhorted to be thankful and “to lead quiet (tranquil) and peaceable lives in all godliness and reverence.” In 2 Timothy 2, we are instructed to be “strong in grace.” In Titus, older men are told to be “temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled and sound (a better word might be healthy) in faith, in love and in endurance.”
It seems that nowadays if we disagree with someone we are written off or considered an enemy. The political tone of the last election was hauntingly divisive. Not to mention the ongoing racial issues or other ways that our world has “drawn battle lines.” Things I have seen on social media and Facebook often cause me to cringe.
George Bernard Shaw, the Irish playwright, said that a gentleman is someone who gives more to the world than he takes out. In the Bible we are given a number of ways to be a gentleman. In 1 Timothy 2:2, we are exhorted to be thankful and “to lead quiet (tranquil) and peaceable lives in all godliness and reverence.” In 2 Timothy 2, we are instructed to be “strong in grace.” In Titus, older men are told to be “temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled and sound (a better word might be healthy) in faith, in love and in endurance.”
It seems that nowadays if we disagree with someone we are written off or considered an enemy. The political tone of the last election was hauntingly divisive. Not to mention the ongoing racial issues or other ways that our world has “drawn battle lines.” Things I have seen on social media and Facebook often cause me to cringe.
A gentleman can disagree without being disagreeable. He does not run from a difficult discussion, but his demeanor and respect make the discussion less difficult. In all things a gentleman seeks to make others comfortable. This is where manners come in.
If you have never read George Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, I would recommend it as a great way of starting conversation around the dinner table. Interestingly, most ladies who responded to the survey were not looking for men to open doors, remove hats or walk on the outside of the sidewalk curb, etc. but said that those things did help to make them feel special. What ladies and all people want is to be respected and valued for who they are. To be listened to and to be radically loved.
If you have never read George Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, I would recommend it as a great way of starting conversation around the dinner table. Interestingly, most ladies who responded to the survey were not looking for men to open doors, remove hats or walk on the outside of the sidewalk curb, etc. but said that those things did help to make them feel special. What ladies and all people want is to be respected and valued for who they are. To be listened to and to be radically loved.
Although we are all works in progress, I can say that I am proud of my brothers in the church and appreciate the way they are becoming gentlemen for God.