My Own Strength
Justin Jones / Pastor of Spiritual Formation and Singles
When is the last time you needed God? You might say, “I always need God for everything” and you would be right. But how often do we truly and practically realize that reality? How often are we completely dependent on God and not dependent on our own strength for anything?
The reality is that most of the time we are completely satisfied to keep life limited to the place where we can be in control. We are content to allow our conception of who God is to be limited to our understanding, to not take steps of faith that would stretch us too uncomfortably, and to rely on our own strength when things get a little choppy. Or at least that is how I can get sometimes, even when I don’t want to.
And this conflict of my soul became apparent to me this morning. You see, my wife and I are about to have another baby. She may go into labor at any point now. And to be completely honest I am nervous. I know I shouldn’t be. I know the Bible says that we are to be anxious about nothing and that God will supply all we need. I believe those promises and I have seen them played out in my life. But I have realized that when I try to be in control of everything, those promises come in conflict with my control.
When we had our first son, Judah, I remember God’s great promises and comfort in that time. But I also remember the five days of labor my wife was in, and feeling helpless to do anything for her. I remember watching as my seemingly lifeless son was carted away from an operating room and having them tell me that they couldn’t release my wife from the operating room either because something was wrong with her. I remember the pain and helplessness I felt as my wife struggled through miscarriages over the past several years. If I was to depend on my own strength, my track record was pretty terrible. And yet, each time as my wife and I depended on the Lord for strength, He provided all we needed.
That is something I know intellectually, but despite all of the experiences of our past I have failed to embrace that truth experientially in this season. I keep looking at the upcoming birth of our new baby in my own strength, thinking about how much power I have to take on the unknown. I keep comparing my strength to the possible extrapolations of what could happen, and I feel helpless again. I feel like I am at the whim of chance, not knowing what will happen. And it’s true. I have no idea what will happen with this baby. But I know WHO loves and cares for us (and for the baby) more than anyone.
I was so thankful for that reminder this morning. As I was praying, I was pouring out my heart to God about all of this and I started listening to a sermon while I was on the way to work. The pastor was preaching about Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.” He talked about the importance of stretching experiences. He talked about the importance of experiences that are out of our control and beyond our understanding. In these moments, our only hope is to trust. Trust God with everything. Trust that He is in control of all things. Trust that He will not leave us nor forsake us. Trust that He can provide everything we need. Trust that whatever happens will fit into His plans for our life.
You see, an important thing we prayed for our first child, and every child since, has been to submit that child to God. We are only stewards of our children. They actually belong to God. It is what helped us to walk through the ups and downs of parenting thus far. It is what has given us strength in parenting Judah, strength in the midst of losing two babies, and gave Janelle strength during this pregnancy. These children are God’s and we trust that His plans are best.
I was thankful for that reminder today that the mystery of the upcoming birth of our baby, the unknowns of how the process will go, the helplessness of watching my wife give birth and know there is not much I can do to help her, are blessings from the Lord. They put me in a place of dependence again; a place where things are out of my control. They force my soul back up into its proper position, submitting to Him in all of my ways, and His promise to us is that He will make our paths straight.
If you are in a place similar to me right now (depending on your own strength and control), then I encourage you to put life on hold for a second. Consider the things going on around you. Remember the enormity of who God is. Remember the reality that you and I are really in control of nothing. And in prayer, surrender again your will and life to God. Maybe it is submitting a financial obstacle, a family member or struggle, your journey at work, a health issue, etc. As another pastor, Kevin Myers, has said, “Prayer is not how you secure control. It’s how you surrender control.” Let us surrender control and see the amazing things that God can do in and through our lives!
When is the last time you needed God? You might say, “I always need God for everything” and you would be right. But how often do we truly and practically realize that reality? How often are we completely dependent on God and not dependent on our own strength for anything?
The reality is that most of the time we are completely satisfied to keep life limited to the place where we can be in control. We are content to allow our conception of who God is to be limited to our understanding, to not take steps of faith that would stretch us too uncomfortably, and to rely on our own strength when things get a little choppy. Or at least that is how I can get sometimes, even when I don’t want to.
And this conflict of my soul became apparent to me this morning. You see, my wife and I are about to have another baby. She may go into labor at any point now. And to be completely honest I am nervous. I know I shouldn’t be. I know the Bible says that we are to be anxious about nothing and that God will supply all we need. I believe those promises and I have seen them played out in my life. But I have realized that when I try to be in control of everything, those promises come in conflict with my control.
When we had our first son, Judah, I remember God’s great promises and comfort in that time. But I also remember the five days of labor my wife was in, and feeling helpless to do anything for her. I remember watching as my seemingly lifeless son was carted away from an operating room and having them tell me that they couldn’t release my wife from the operating room either because something was wrong with her. I remember the pain and helplessness I felt as my wife struggled through miscarriages over the past several years. If I was to depend on my own strength, my track record was pretty terrible. And yet, each time as my wife and I depended on the Lord for strength, He provided all we needed.
That is something I know intellectually, but despite all of the experiences of our past I have failed to embrace that truth experientially in this season. I keep looking at the upcoming birth of our new baby in my own strength, thinking about how much power I have to take on the unknown. I keep comparing my strength to the possible extrapolations of what could happen, and I feel helpless again. I feel like I am at the whim of chance, not knowing what will happen. And it’s true. I have no idea what will happen with this baby. But I know WHO loves and cares for us (and for the baby) more than anyone.
I was so thankful for that reminder this morning. As I was praying, I was pouring out my heart to God about all of this and I started listening to a sermon while I was on the way to work. The pastor was preaching about Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.” He talked about the importance of stretching experiences. He talked about the importance of experiences that are out of our control and beyond our understanding. In these moments, our only hope is to trust. Trust God with everything. Trust that He is in control of all things. Trust that He will not leave us nor forsake us. Trust that He can provide everything we need. Trust that whatever happens will fit into His plans for our life.
You see, an important thing we prayed for our first child, and every child since, has been to submit that child to God. We are only stewards of our children. They actually belong to God. It is what helped us to walk through the ups and downs of parenting thus far. It is what has given us strength in parenting Judah, strength in the midst of losing two babies, and gave Janelle strength during this pregnancy. These children are God’s and we trust that His plans are best.
I was thankful for that reminder today that the mystery of the upcoming birth of our baby, the unknowns of how the process will go, the helplessness of watching my wife give birth and know there is not much I can do to help her, are blessings from the Lord. They put me in a place of dependence again; a place where things are out of my control. They force my soul back up into its proper position, submitting to Him in all of my ways, and His promise to us is that He will make our paths straight.
If you are in a place similar to me right now (depending on your own strength and control), then I encourage you to put life on hold for a second. Consider the things going on around you. Remember the enormity of who God is. Remember the reality that you and I are really in control of nothing. And in prayer, surrender again your will and life to God. Maybe it is submitting a financial obstacle, a family member or struggle, your journey at work, a health issue, etc. As another pastor, Kevin Myers, has said, “Prayer is not how you secure control. It’s how you surrender control.” Let us surrender control and see the amazing things that God can do in and through our lives!