Beautiful Mess
by Mat
Dawson / Student Ministries Pastor
Over the last few years God has been teaching me that I am a beautiful mess, a work in progress, and unconditionally loved. Growing up in the church I always felt that I had to be good enough, spiritual enough, and not sin in order to make God happy. This pattern of thought was tiring and often left me feeling guilty, heaping a great deal of shame on my shoulders.
It’s
only within the last few years that I have truly begun to grasp the love of God
that is spoken about throughout the Bible. I would hear people talk about
God’s love, I would teach others about God’s love, but I’m not sure that I ever
really truly grasped it for myself. Some of my best spiritual victories would
often be followed by a mighty fall; great days would be followed by a great
defeat leaving me to wonder if God even liked me at all. I wanted so
desperately to walk close to Jesus but the closer I got to him the more I
recognized my areas of sin. I loved God and I wanted Him to love me as
well, to be proud of the work that I was doing for Him. It was in those
moments that I began to understand the Gospel, understand His love, grace, and
mercy. When I accepted Christ into my life I was forgiven clear and free. I was
adopted into His family and loved as such … a SON. I don’t need to work harder
to please my Heavenly Father; He is pleased with me regardless. I am a
beautiful mess but I am HIS beautiful mess that is unconditionally loved and
cherished.
This
revelation is easier to preach than to live out, but as I continue to embrace
God’s love more and more it is water to my soul, and good food for my
body. As I walk deeper in His love I realize that I’m only scratching the
surface of it, and it calls you further in. I don’t have to understand it
fully, but I get to spend all of eternity exploring its depth.
“Who
shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or
famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As
it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are
considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No,
in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death
nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any
powers, neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of
God that is in Christ Jesus our LORD.” Romans 8:35-39